His voice has a certain warmth that envelopes you. At first his voice can come off as irritating because of his accent but I quickly warmed up to it. What does Stan Tatkin bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
However "Your Brian on Love" really for me knocks it out of the park by giving you a solid framework and tool to make any relationship where both parties are interested in making it work the instructions to have a secure stable relationship. That was a good book and if you have sometime, I would recommend listening or reading that book first to get a good understanding of Adult Attachment Style. I listen to "Attached: Thew New Science of Adult Attachment And How It Can Help you Find- And Keep Love" by Rachel Heller and Amir Levine. What other book might you compare Your Brain on Love to and why? For someone like me who is very guarded and often expect others to rely on themselves this was truly a paradigm shift in the way I looked at human relationships, not just romantic relationships.
In this book more than any other book, you learn the acceptance of your partner and realize you are responsible their happiness and well being as much as he or she is responsible for yours. This book provides you with a slap in the face and you realize, relationships are messy, people are annoying but they can also be rewarding. As a 30 something year old who never had a LTR, I had to come to terms with my "Island" or "Avoidant" attachment style. Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?įor some of us, a stable long-term relationship eludes us and we often wonder why. If you're with a "Wave" no amount of time away from them seems reasonable, and according to the author the "Island" should accommodate that.
He says that "Anchors" acknowledge the need for it, but doesn't go into how it should operate. The author does nothing to discuss the need for friends and a social circle outside of the relationship. The author states that we need to "parent" our partners, but every woman can tell you that it often doesn't go both ways, and she ends up "parenting" just about everyone in her household. She might seem like an Island because she's fighting for identity and autonomy against a man-child who sucks everything from the atmosphere. If you are in an argument, trying to establish healthy boundaries and take care of your needs, and your partner calls 20 times and leaves long, troubling voicemails in the name of "seeing if the relationship is ok", this is NOT acceptable behavior! I feel like what this book lacks is the perspective of a woman who has had to deal with being the sole system of support for her male partner. According to the author you need to be available 24/7 for your partner, and provide all of your partners needs no matter how damaging it is to your own psyche. The author goes out of his way in the beginning to say "None of these types are 'wrong'", but then spends the rest of the book telling Islands that they are wrong to want to establish boundaries and take time for themselves. Particularly the disparagement of so-called "Islands".
Sure, there are some good points about attachment and things to look for when dealing with anxious and avoidant types, however there are a lot of troubling assertions that you should put up with what can be described as abusive and emotional laborious behavior in the name of your partner.
0 kommentar(er)
